Birthday Trouble
by the.thirteenth.doctors
Summary: It's Amy's birthday and everyone is celebrating! However, the planet the Doctor has chosen seems to be rather popular today, and they soon bump into several old friends... Doctor/Cumber!Master Amy/Rory Jack/Ianto Onesided River/Doctor (Not really a Torchwood crossover, but features a little bit of Janto...)


It was Amy's birthday. She, the Doctor, Rory and River were crowded around a small table in a cosy little tavern on Xylanm VII, with steaming mugs of the local alcoholic brew, Luxaë, a creamy dark purple substance that tasted of hot chocolate and champagne. Although the Luxaë had a very low alcoholic content, it made you feel very warm inside, and so prompted the telling of ridiculous stories one would not usually tell, similar to drinks with a little more alcohol in.

Halfway through a particularly outrageous story told by the Doctor, a dark haired man at the barstool in front turned around, knocking half the contents of his drink over the young man next to him. "Doctor!" He exclaimed in an American accent. Amy's immediate reaction was priceless. Rory rolled his eyes as she grinned saucily at the newcomer. "Hello..." They both said in unison. "Amy... Jack... Stop it..."

Jack rubbed his jaw sheepishly. "Ah, Doc, the thing is, I'm here with my fiancé! Uh... Where...?" Jack peered around wildly. The young man he'd spilled beer over tugged at his coat, an amused but long suffering expression on his face. "Sir, I think you've had enough to drink. I'm just here." Jack beamed. "So you are, you naughty boy!" River laughed. "Budge up, there's room for a couple more..." Captain Jack smirked as he dragged his boyfriend towards the table, plonking himself down next to an uncomfortable looking Rory.

"What brings you to these parts, Jack?" The Doctor said, beaming. "Well, Ianto and I are getting married here in a few months, so we thought we'd check the place out, christen a few beaches, if you catch my drift..." He said, winking. Ianto blushed. "Jack!" "Sorry, Yan-Yan." The young Welshman buried his face in his hands.

"Anyway..." Jack said, with a broad smirk plastered over his face, "Guess who we saw, about an hour ago?" River looked amused, Amy looked annoyed that Jack was taken, and Rory was exchanging sympathetic glances with Ianto. The Doctor leaned forward, excited. "Yes...?" Jack chuckled. "Your old boyfriend!"

The Doctor looked confused, and then overjoyed. "The Master's here too?!" The atmosphere went tense. "Uh, no, that's not who I was thinking of, but we saw him earlier, actually. He's changed... Got quite hot, actually..." Jack mused. Ianto raised his head to glare at his fiancé. Jack blushed. "Sorry, cupcake." Ianto groaned and hid his face again.

Now the Doctor was really excited. "Where?!" Jack looked confused. "Where what?" The Time Lord jumped up, impatient. "Where was he? Did he hurt anyone?" Jack shrugged. "Nah, no one was hurt. It was a couple of days ago. He's probably gone." Trying to mask his disappointment, the Doctor quickly changed the subject to how much he hated pears.

This then lead to a highly passionate debate about which fruits were the best. Pears, to the Doctor's extreme disappointment, were the most popular fruit on the table, bananas were the least. As he was sulking and the rest of the group cheering about their "pear-fect" (that was Rory) victory, the door to the tavern swung open, blasting their ankles with an icy chill.

Funny thing was, the Doctor could suddenly feel the cold inside his head, as well as around him... River laughed when he shivered slightly, and the everyone went back to swapping stories about their various partners. The Doctor looked up to see a man striding down the bar's aisle towards them. He stared, and he kept on staring, as that strange mental chill swept over him again. The man smirked slightly, slowing in his pace. He had unruly auburn curls, pale skin and icy blue-grey eyes with sharp, delicate cheekbones. The black coat he was wearing swirled slightly behind him as he walked.

For the second time that night, the Doctor rose from his seat, this time shakily and unsteadily. His companions looked up at him uncertainly, and then at the newcomer. "Sweetie?" River supplied. "Doctor?" "Doc?" Everyone else asked.

The Doctor swept his hair absentmindedly out of his face. He made towards the strange young man before him, stumbling over Rory and the table in his haste. The man's smirk grew slightly as he noted the Time Lord's urgency. He stood before him, slightly breathless.

"Is it you..." The Doctor's voice trailed off as he simply gazed at the man before him, who had gently plucked his hand from his side and brushed his lips formally against the delicate skin. The Doctor blushed. "Ma-Master!" He stammered. "My dear Doctor." The Master smirked. "Eyebrowless, I see. And brown hair, again. How boring for you. At least you have pretty eyes.."

The Doctor tried to ignore the "pretty eyes" comment. "You're ginger!" He complained. "Yes, Doctor, and I have marvellous eyebrows..." The Doctor glared at him. He allowed himself a half smile. Then the Doctor did something unexpected. He leaned over and kissed his fellow Time Lord on the mouth very softly, as if to check that he was still there. The Master's eyes widened for a second, but then he just smirked at him as he pulled away.

"Well, Doctor, it seems you have miss-" his speech was cut off as the Doctor punched him in the jaw. The Master quirked an eyebrow and touched the place he was sure a bruise was already forming on his alabaster skin. Folding his arms, he sniffed, "Really, dear, that was completely uncalled for. What happened to 'we're the only ones left'?"

The Doctor stuck his lower lip out indignantly. "I've changed. And apparently, so have you. What happened to taking over the universe?" The Master chuckled darkly. "I'm in a good mood. And taking over the universe got boring..."

From the table, Jack called, "Yeah, that's him. Doc! You coming?" "It seems you are wanted elsewhere." The Master nodded over at the Doctor's companions. He clasped the Doctor's hand once more, shook it elegantly, and turned to leave. He found himself yanked back around abruptly. "You're not leaving again." The Doctor growled, their faces only inches apart. The Master looked down into his old friend's eyes. He loved that he was finally taller than him... He hadn't been taller since that ridiculous dwarfish one with the umbrella...

The Doctor reached up to touch his temples. The Master allowed this psychic contact. The Doctor's fingers were warm on his cool skin. He closed his eyes, and as he felt the achingly familiar gentle sieving feeling of his own kind in his mind once more. The Doctor released him suddenly; apparently satisfied with what he had found in his head. "Gallifrey..." He whispered. The Doctor grinned away at him. "I'll tell you about that later..."

The Master suddenly felt his hand once more clutched by his old enemy. He rolled his eyes as he was dragged towards the human pets. What he saw intrigued him. "A plastic android, a half Time Lady, an immortal man and two humans with very... interesting... time signatures... Well, Doctor, you have outdone yourself!"

Jack narrowed his eyes at him. "Hi," he said coolly. The Master just nodded to them. There was an awkward silence as the Doctor pulled the Master down next to him. Amy quickly broke it by stage whispering to Jack, "He really has got hot!" Rory scowled, but everyone else burst out laughing; even the Master gave a small grin.

The tension gradually settled, and the conversation was steered back to the topic of the best fruits. The Master didn't like pears either, and though he didn't like bananas either, at least the Doctor had an ally against the rampaging pear invaders...

Soon, everyone was playing a weird kind of chess with the seasonings on the table and by one in the morning they were all on their fifth mugs of Luxaë - except the two Time Lords who were on their tenth mugs as they were sharing. At about three, they all staggered back to the TARDIS, except Jack and Ianto who had some "business" to attend to - no one wanted to know.

Amy and Rory trailed off to their bunk beds - apparently the feisty Scotswoman only needed a little alcohol to make her sleepy... River, the Doctor and a reluctant Master stood in the console. "So, River, I'll drop you back off to the prisony thingy, shall I?" River batted her lashes at him. "Yes, thank you sweetie..." The Master scowled. The Doctor grinned, oblivious, and spun around to shut the doors.

For the split second that his back was turned, River's flirty smile slipped, only to be replaced with a vicious territorial glare. The Master shot her a look that would terrify Daleks everywhere. This immediately stopped when the Doctor turned around. He bounced around the console, pulling levers, pressing buttons wildly and babbling happily. "Doctor, you left the brakes on again..." The Master sighed, fondly exasperated. "Yes, sweetie, let me come and sort you out..." River cooed, strutting towards him. The Doctor flinched slightly, ducked around her advances, and whined, "But I like the noise of the brakes!" The Master half smiled. River looked annoyed. The TARDIS chirped her amusement and River scowled.

There was a jolt as the TARDIS landed, settling violently so that the Doctor sprawled into the Master, and River (very dramatically) fell back onto both of them. Both yelled in pain; "Damn it, woman, what do you eat?!" and the slightly more polite, "OW! Get off!" I'm sure you can tell who is who. River huffily got off them and the Doctor rolled off a severely squashed Master. She adjusted her dress, pulled the Doctor to his feet and threw her arms around his neck for a goodbye kiss. The Doctor swiftly dodged and planted one on her cheek instead. She looked irritated, but nonetheless, flicked her hair back and grinned as she purred, "Goodbye, sweetie..." and strode out of the TARDIS.

The Doctor breathed out a breath he had evidently been holding for some time. The Master rolled his eyes. "Always leading your pets on like that... Don't they know Time Lords bond for life?" The younger Time Lord giggled. "Oh, come on. I didn't do anything. It was all her. And I don't think she does, no."

The Master frowned, dusting himself off from where he had been landed on. "She doesn't care, more like." He growled. "But you're mine. Mine. I hope you still know that, Doctor..." The Doctor wiggled his nonexistent eyebrows. "Oh, yes. How could I forget?" The Master smirked. In one swift flourish, he had scooped up the Doctor, who let out a surprised squeak. "Ooh, Master," he giggled. "Shut up," the Master laughed, and swept him off towards their bedroom.


End file.
